Christian singer/songwriter Jason Gray opened approximately fans top top his blog awhile back, sharing around his ache divorce. Holding onto hope, Gray is currently opening up even much more about that complicated time and how God is bringing that through.
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In a current interview with urbanbreathnyc.com.com, the "Remind Me who I Am" singer poured the end his heart around walking through Jesus with the valley and also how it influenced his new album, Where The Light gets In. Here are excerpts from that conversation:
Where is God in the middle of difficulties and pain? did you discover something new about Him through it all?
These are hard questions and also it have the right to be so basic to give trite answers. Maybe the most truthful point I deserve to say is that i don"t know. There was a moment in the midst of the worst of my very own pain the I had actually a profound sense that God"s presence. Ns remember gift curled up on the floor of mine bathroom, weeping in the center of the night, and being surprised come hear the words, "thank you, give thanks to you," coming out of mine mouth.
But over there were likewise other times once I felt prefer I to be crying right into a deep dark emptiness and like ns was therefore alone. But I guess what I think is that ns wasn"t altogether alone. It method a lot that we have actually a high priest who understands us, right? since Jesus walked into the dark ahead of us, it offers us hope as soon as we find ourselves in the dark that He"s already there and will accomplish us--even if it"s difficult to watch Him.
In terms of what I"ve learned, I intend it feels more like I"ve had to unlearn a the majority of things. Over there are principles I"ve had around how God works, around my place in all of that, the no much longer feel authentic to mine experience. If I"m honest, i still bring a the majority of disappointment and also anger v both God and myself. Probably that will certainly heal and become other meaningful. It"s already beginning to. Richard Rohr claims that if us aren"t transformed by ours pain we will certainly transmit it. Ns desperately execute not desire to transmit my pain. This calls for a deep engagement with God, myself, and Truth. It"s scary, invigorating, exhausting, refreshing. Every one of it all at once! Elizabeth Kubler Ross says, "when you find out the lesson, the pain walk away." I"m do the efforts to find out the lessons.
There"s a lyric I composed that says, "when mine life broke in the middle, all of my answers turned into riddles." I mean I"m tho in that space a lot, though a quiet confidence in the care and also goodness of God is farming in me again. I"m grateful to have actually a long history of God"s loyalty in mine life. If ns didn"t, ns don"t think my faith would have survived.
How has actually this challenging time affected your songwriting?
It has actually clarified my feeling of purpose. I"ve constantly imagined the the gift I have actually to carry is a sensitivity come the human in the pew who is hurting and also may feel alienated by the happy praise songs and also sermons we may hear in church. I"ve do the efforts to do room because that that human in nearly all of my songs, acknowledging pain or brokenness in a method that makes damaged hearted human being feel favor they have a place at the table whereby hope is served. I"ve never ever felt an ext equipped to execute that work. Because that a while currently I"ve to be thinking and writing around grief.
I"ve heard that David Dark once said, "Christians have to be the most robustly sane civilization on the planet," and I agree through this. Yet it"s additionally not my experience. (Laughs) I believe that a many the weirdness I check out in the Christian community (and in my own life) comes from the push we put on ourselves to be positive and also happy. Shakespeare wrote, "The load of this sad time we should obey. Speak what we feel, no what we should say." i think this leads us to health. God gave us feeling to feel them, however a many us judge our feelings instead of feeling them or shot to manage them by stuffing and trying to feeling what we think we need to feel instead.
Sometimes the person who says, "God is great all the time" may be hiding from your own an overwhelming feelings. Yet I think health and wellness looks choose this, us feel our feelings and also then offer them come God. The scriptures doesn"t say, "don"t be angry." it says, "be angry, however don"t sin." In most of my song I"m make the efforts to execute the inner work-related I must do myself and also trust that it"ll help others who space doing the same kind the work.
What have the right to listeners mean to uncover on your new album, Where The Light it s okay In?
In despite the of every this speak of grief and also pain, they deserve to expect to discover a many hope and joy on this record! In a current interview, ns talked about that experience we have actually when we"re going v something difficult and how useful it can be come talk about it--verbally procedure it--with friends. Until someday it isn"t and also it just feels like you"re weary the talking about it. At some point, even if girlfriend aren"t totally out that the woods yet, you just need to begin having various conversations. I"d speak that"s a fair description of wherein I was at in the start of creating for this record. The wounds were still fresh, yet I was so eager to have a new conversation. Ns was surprised that I could write a song like, "Celebrate," for this record, and several that the up, funny songs. I had actually a blast writing and recording these songs and I think civilization will taste that as soon as they listen. Ns hope that makes civilization smile.
You"ve pointed out that few of your past songs were like medication to you. Are there any new ones on this record that especially minister to you?
Wow. Great question. In a many ways, I"m still taking in these songs. I"m probably dimwitted enough that God to be like, "I understand what I"m going to must do to get through come this guy. I"m going to do him to it is in a singer/songwriter therefore he has to sing these ideas over and also over and over until he gets it." I frequently have this endure where I assumed I knew what a tune meant as soon as I wrote it, yet further down the road I uncovered it expected something else. It"s really mysterious and humbling. I have actually a friend who states the songs recognize what"s walk on in us before we do. I choose to think that the hopeful delight of these song is evidence that I"m top top a great trajectory.
In terms of songs that move me indigenous the new album, the course, "Death there is no A Funeral" is crucial song around my divorce the affects me an extremely deeply. For this reason is, "The Wound Is whereby The Light gets In." "Thank You because that Everything" is the one that frequently makes me cry and also that is a rare suffer for me. I"m commonly not relocated by my own songs, it"s like already knowing the punch line that your very own jokes, so the feels choose a gift as soon as the tears present up.
What to be the catalyst behind the location track, "The Wound Is wherein the Light it s okay In"?
After the divorce was final, I invested a great amount of time through a therapist make the efforts to acquire my feet under me again. She randomly referenced a line from a Rumi poem, "the wound is where the light enters you." the rang all the bells within of me and I knew I wanted to write a song about the idea. I believe that every preacher, an ext or less, has actually a single message that they preach a thousand various ways. The main point idea the my work-related seems to keep circling is at the intersection that Romans 8:28 and also 2 Corinthians 12:9, whereby our weak meets the love that functions all things together because that good. This is many poignantly true to me as soon as I think of exactly how suffering deserve to tenderize a person.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross says, "The most beautiful civilization we have actually known space those who have actually known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, recognized loss, and also have uncovered their means out the the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them v compassion, gentleness, and also a deep loving concern. Beautiful world do not simply happen." In other words, the wound is whereby the light it s okay in.
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Your critical album was much more about grief. This one"s around hope. What space you optimistic for?
These days it seems ideal to take it it a day at a time. I guess i hope to be able to continue in the job-related I get to do. It"s much more meaningful to me currently than ever. I hope to better learn exactly how to it is in the sort of dad my sons need me come be. Ns hope come love well and also be loved. I hope to be able to pay mine bills and also have a tiny bit extra come be generosity with.